Mommy Guilt

First off, on Saturday I decided Amelia's hair in the back was way too frizzy from sleeping. It kept tangling and let's face it, I was sick of feeling the frizz any time I would touch it. So I cut it off. I have seen my stylist cut my hair many times, how hard could it be. Famous last words. Really it was just a small area and it turned out fine but I started with a little on Saturday, then chickened out but finished on Sunday. She has the most beautiful little curls at the base of her neck and there is no way I am cutting those off. She would not stop moving! I need to get over the "do everything myself" mentality. But I feel guilty, like I am missing out on something.

On to the next guilt trip I am laying on myself (because isn't there always at least two).

About two weeks ago Amelia's daycare lady asked her if she had owies and where they were. Amelia pointed in the area of her jaw/neck. I figured she was getting teeth. That night and over the course of the next five days, she would get a slight increase in her temp, anywhere from 99 degrees to 101.2. But they didn't last and she didn't act real sick, just really crabby, so I didn't think anything of it. She stopped getting temps. On Sunday, I started getting a sore throat, by Sunday night I had body aches. My temperature has been hardly elevated. The highest it got was 100 point something. But it comes and goes, sometimes the sore throat is a dull ache, sometimes it feels like I got my tonsils out again. So today I went to the doctor because it is hard to take care of a two year old. I didn't have a fever but I did have BAD body aches and sore throat. He came to the conclusion that I most likely had strep. I have never had strep in my life and let me say, I never want it again.

I felt terrible. the parents of one of the kids at daycare both had strep and my daycare lady mentioned it when she told me about Amelia pointing to her "owies". I figured she would have a higher fever and fuss more. Her doctor was out today so I made an appointment for right away tomorrow morning. I don't know if they will even test her but I feel like such an ass. I feel like I completely ignored my daughter's symptoms, even if they were small. But on the other hand, the night before I hosted my first Thanksgiving, I had to take her to the emergency room out of fear she had pneumonia (just croup...OF COURSE. I shake my fist at you, croup.) but at least I knew. I didn't get home until almost 2:00 and didn't make it to bed until 2:30. So, the lesson I learned, not all fevers are created equal.

If anyone reads this, this is the part where you tell me that it happens to everyone, I am not a bad mom and all that other good-feeling stuff. Thanks!